The curve that set everything straight

“6” was an interesting age for me. I was repeatedly advised not to talk to strangers, by my mother. It seemed so weird to me as it always was OK for her to strike up a conversation with any fellow passenger or share an auto with a person she’s never come across in her entire life. And then started the introduction phase where I would be expected to smile and politely respond to their questions thrown my way. As time passed by I started doing so without much of my mother’s supervision. I somehow felt I was obliged to smile at people around me. The reason behind this being, every smile that was returned assured me that my smile had made somebody’s day. And it made me feel complete.

                    However the number of smiles decreased as the years flew by. I guess it’s easier to get somebody to smile back at you when you’re a kid. It didn’t bother me much. I thought I could always make someone happy if not everyone. I wasn’t losing much. After all how much does a smile really cost?

                    This went on for quite some time until one day when I was accompanied by a friend and I tried smiling at an old lady who probably didn’t notice, but my friend sure did. She asked me if I knew that lady and was shocked when I just shook my head in denial. It came across as weird to her that I would smile at a person who hadn’t played any part in my life ever. Innocently though she inquired, “Don’t you feel humiliated when somebody doesn’t smile back?” I simply waived off her question saying, “If somebody would indeed smile back it would really please me and if not I’d just lose a smile.” But those words sounded hollow even to me somehow.

                   The next day on my way to college I saw a kid who could, on a usual day, be my potential “smile backer”. But something said NO. What if he doesn’t smile back? What if he thinks me a freak? What if he runs around telling people and they all laugh at me? These questions plagued all my beliefs and I just walked away.

                  Although I had stopped smiling I still spotted people who I felt deserved at least a grin. But my renewed beliefs never let me go forward with it.

                 It happened one day, I was returning home from some place I don’t quite remember now, engrossed in some thought I can’t recollect as well, except something did happen that day which I would never forget. I don’t know why or how but I looked up. Across the road, was a little girl not more than 9 to 10 years of age, she looked at me and gave me the sweetest and most importantly a genuine smile that one could ever see. For a moment I paused and all the memories of my childhood flashed back. On an impulse I smiled back at her and she just passed me by. Her innocence now reflected on my face. What made her smile at me, I don’t know. But it sure as hell MADE MY DAY

CRUSH

Have you ever wondered

     What feeling it is to

  Stare deeply into his eyes 

    And feel your heart skip a beat or two

  

  Walk around hungry

     Spend sleepless nights

  Jump around just 'cause he smiled at you

  See him talk see him walk

    See him till he disappears behind the block

   Did you start a work

      When you didn't know what to do

   And yet you keep thinkin

     What is it you are goin through

   Its then you should know 

        Its your first crush for sure

   It is a disease that has no cure

   Its indeed a feeling so amazingly true

        That leaves you like anything but 

  YOU  

                         

The Known Stranger

A stranger in the mirror

  Stared back at me

Doubting her own existence

  She craved to be seen

She had a muffled voice

  Only i could hear

As she told me the tale

  Of how she disappeared

She chose to be herself 

   In the walk of life

Little did she know

  She had a lot to strive

Hoping to be accepted

  She strode down the lane

Where instead of joy

  She was stung by pain

There on the pedestal

  Stood someone else

Someone different

  Someone not herself

Shattered every bit

  She faded away

In the sunset of life

  Like a shadow she'd now stay

      This is a story forever told

      Of a stranger so new yet so old

The Lost Path

                 This poem is indeed very close to my heart. I dedicate this poem to my father who even though has left this world, hasn't succeeded in leaving my thoughts or his place in my heart.  This poem is a reflection of what he meant, or rather, still means to me. 

If at all i ever needed your help

    I'd turn right back and find you there

But all of a sudden this smog emerged

    And now i fear i'll see you nowhere

I'm running back trying to look at you

    Only a glance would be enough

To assure me of your presence around

    But in all this mess it seems so tough

I wish the time would stop right here

    The clock would just stop ticking

I'm miserable, I'm growing restless

    I wish my heart would stop panicking

I get these weird thoughts that

   Maybe you have left me alone

Amidst a crowd full of strange faces

   Faces with hearts of stones

They wear these masks 

   And have hands full of thefts

Are you lost amongst them

   Or have you just left

Come ahead and let me

   For once see your naked face

Hold you in my deep embrace

Tell you that i love you so

  Hug u tight for one last time

And kiss you before again you go